Our laid back lady...

Big girl swing.  Fearless.

It's about time Anna Corbin got a little face time here.   Let me just say she's one laid back little girl.  She is content to play with toys, ride in the car, go for a walk, just about anything...she's happy.  And if for some reason she's not happy, she's hungry.  It's that easy.

Many times during the day she points at the door and says "daddy?" then she squeals with delight when he comes home.  It's precious!!

Lovin' stomping around in daddy's boots.

We have been working hard to increase her vocabulary.  This month she has had a much needed verbal explosion.  Corbin and I can't help but joke that we gave her a double name....4 syllables....and talking seems to be difficult for her (oh the irony).  How will she ever learn to say her name?  Over the last few days she has started to say Anna Co.  (Thanks Uncle Corbin).   It's kind of adorable if you ask me. 

  

Planting Roots

At our follow up appointment, Dr. Enyedi said that Chesson's eyes looked better than she expected after such extensive surgery.  Those words were music to my ears. He has two stitches in each eye (below his bottom eye lids) that will dissolve in about 4 weeks.  They are a bit itchy, but otherwise just fine.  Chesson seems to think that food will cure his itchy eyes.  At almost every meal he asks me, "Do grapes (or whatever food he's eating at the moment) help itchy eyes?"  Precious boy.  I just ask him to tell me if they help.  I mean, I'm pretty sure a Sunkist and some M&M's can cure anything that's ailing me.  Maybe food does the same thing for him;o)

His eyes look SO much better.  The redness is fading! 

 It's been a week and a half.  I stand truly amazed.  Chesson can look straight ahead.  Straight ahead!  I feel giddy, and humble, and grateful that Chesson has had this surgery.  I want to soak in this feeling.  It's pure happiness.  I want to dig my feet in and plant roots.  Of course, I know I can't stay in this moment forever.  Life will move forward, as it should, but man oh man....I want to treasure this moment, this feeling, today......

Just doing a little dance for the camera.  

Today is a happy day!

The teams

Corbin and I can't get over how blessed we are to have such wonderful friends and family.  Teams of people surrounded us last week, and it turns out we really needed them. 


Here they are, in no particular order...


the hospital team:  my parents came with us to duke.  gra-gra, brought board games.  she also brought lunch.  she's amazing like that.   6 hours goes much faster when you are with people who love you.  -- 2 of our dear friends also came by to pray with Corbin.  love, love

the ac team:  becca took off work and spent the entire day playing with ac.  (she spent the entire next day with me and Chesson...because she knows that i need her) my parents kept Anna Corbin for 3 days...in-credible.

the meal team:.  yummy, yummy food, delivered to our door....3 nights of dinners...gift is an understatement


the wine team: does this one need a description?  i heart the wine team:o) 


the gifts team:  chesson came home and had all kinds of fun presents to open. this proved to be helpful when he felt cooped up on the sofa.  i could pull out something new, and he would momentarily forget that he wasn't feeling well. 
  




































the byerly needs to go to the doctor team:  of course, i woke up sick yesterday.....a dear friend and her son came (at a moments notice) to be with chesson while i told the dr that, 'i could not be sick right now.' 


the praying team: faithful brothers and sisters, lifting up our boy...and us!  thankful.

2 days ago

today

Today Chesson woke up ready to play!!  We still see the nystagmus, but he can look straight ahead with still eyes.  A-Mazing!!!

As it comes...

 He was incredible.  It was 10am.  He hadn't had anything to eat or drink since the night before.  Only 3 times did he say he was hungry or thirsty.  He's a 3 year old boy.  He is ALWAYS eating.  This is a modern day miracle.  I am convinced this part was easy because of the HUNDREDS of people praying for my boy.  Totally convinced.
Corbin: Let me look in your mouth and see your empty tummy.
Chesson:  Is it still empty Daddy?
Corbin: It looks like a cave.  Dr. Enyedi is going to be so happy.

Pre-surgery - Happy watching cartoons.

sweet sunglasses

The doctors and nurses were amazing.  They were patient and kind and spoke with happiness.  They showed him how everyone in the OR would look.  He thought that was funny.  They brought him play dough and crayons.  He got sweet new sunglasses to wear b/c the sun would hurt his eyes when we left.  We talked about the OR.


Corbin: Chesson, it will be like an astronaut mask.
Me: You'll breathe in astronaut air and take an astronaut nap.
Chesson:  Are these my astronaut socks?
Me: Yes they are
Chesson:  Why do I need astronaut socks?


The begininng was the easy part.  It was leaving him alone in the OR looking so small on the table that almost broke me.  Then, there was the waiting.  We thought the surgery would last about 1.5hours, at 2.5 hours I could feel the panic creep in. 
 "Corbin, I feel nervous.  Why haven't we heard from Dr. Enyedi?"
"Byerly, she said she thought it took 1.5 hours, but she said she doesn't look at the clock and she didn't really know."
"Oh, right, I remember that.  She really should say it takes 3 hours then."
"Agreed."

A little drowsy from the meds

Finally, they called his name.  Only one of us could go back to the recovery where he was being monitored as he woke up.  I really needed Corbin with me.  But, I knew I couldn't sneak him back there...he's still on crutches.  So, I put on my brave face and rushed to see my boy.  My baby.  He was not pleased.  His eyes hurt, he hated the IV's, and he cried repeating how he wanted to go home.  I nearly broke.  Here again, I am positive, those praying friends of mine were literally asking for strength for me when I just couldn't.  And, strength I was given.   I held him, he cried.  His tears were red because of the bleeding.  The stitches in his eyes were bothering him.  My heart literally ached for him.  It. was. not. fun.  - But, it wasn't long before the doctor came and gave us the go ahead to move to the next room.  The room where Corbin could join us.  I wanted to sob in a puddle in that man's arms, but I didn't.  Strength, from the Lord I love, carried me forward.  I smiled as he hugged Chesson.


Our guy wouldn't eat or drink anything.  The anesthesia made him very sick.  He threw up on me.  I didn't have a change of clothes, and I didn't care.  Not one little bit.  Soon after that we loaded up and headed home.  After 6 hours at Duke we were exhausted and so ready to be home.  Last night was tough.  Chesson was very uncomfortable, and still sick, and I couldn't help but think I had chosen this for him.  Ugh!  But, that man of mine, the one who speaks Truth.  He reminded me that the scariest part, the part we feared the most is behind us.  This part, though tough at the moment, is just that, a moment.  So true, so true.


Isn't it easy to think, if I can just get to _____.  Then, it will all be ok?  I have been waiting for Thursday.  Wanting it to be Thursday.  It turns out Thursday is full of new concerns.  The miracles of yesterday are easily forgotten.  Well, I don't want to be a forgett-er.  I want to be thankful and humble and mindful of the gifts right in front of me.  I want to take life as it comes, not as I hope it will be....because what is here is very very good.


God, thank you for Chesson.  Thank you for giving him a chance to literally see life differently.  Amen!

Faith

is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.  - Hebrews 11:1

Nystagmus is not a word that just rolls off your tongue. In the beginning I could barely say it or spell it, much less figure out what it meant for our boy.   But, it's a part of who Chesson is.  He has brown hair, brown eyes, a killer smile, and nystagmus.  When Chesson was diagnosed three years ago, Corbin (my pillar of logic and Truth), said calmly, "Byerly, this isn't an accident.  God made Chesson this way and it. is. perfect. What Chesson lacks in vision he will make up for elsewhere.  This is part of Chesson's story, God will use this for His glory. "  I remember staring at Corbin, speechless, thinking...."Thank God for this man, and thank you God for Your Truth."  Then, I remembered to breathe.  

Corbin was right (don't let it go to head there buddy), Chesson is perfect.  For 3 years we have navigated a road filled with bumps and curves, but really, what road doesn't have a few bumps and curves?

I always knew this day was coming.  The day Chesson would have his eyes 'moved.'  Modern medicine is really amazing.  Tomorrow morning, Chesson's surgeon will detach, shorten, and reattach his eye muscles.  He will no longer need to look out of the right corner of his eye to see me.  (Oh, how I love his little head tilt.  I will miss it!)  After surgery, he will look at me straight in the eye.  I can't even imagine that. 

Practically, this will make his life easier.  He will still have nystagmus, but the bumps and curves of this road will be easier for him to navigate.  I feel unbelievably thankful for that!!  

Now, if I can just remember to breathe.  

January in Disguise

January is having a bit of an identity crisis, and I am encouraging it. Blue skies and temperatures in the 60s are good for my soul. Seriously, it makes me a happy happy mama!

We met our dear friends on the trails by the art museum last weekend. The kids and I were ITCHING to get out of the house after being held hostage by the near pneumonia / double pink eye / cough and runny nose / sprained ankle debacle.

Chesson and Jack playing chase - happy boys.

What do you think these two are pointing at? I fear it's me. They look like they are sharing some kind of inside joke.

Jack and Chesson really wanted to play hide and seek. Corbin, who never says no to playing with his children, hobbled off after them. Jeff, came alongside and helped him (because Corbin really can't walk). For about a thousand different reasons this picture makes me catch my breath.

boys + open space + great weather = FUN!